Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
