Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
