Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
