Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
