She is in my trunk
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
