He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Is Oprah even human
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
