Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
