I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
And my parents said I crawled through the house
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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