Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
