Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I look better un-naked...
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
