So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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