It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
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