i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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