ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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