Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
