just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
