Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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