I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
