May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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