I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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