if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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