It's Friday. Sex?
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
