every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
