I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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