Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
