Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
