why didn't you poke me back
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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