dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
