Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
