my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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