i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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