I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
