i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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