yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
