He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
