I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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