i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
