Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
