i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
