Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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