Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
