he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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