My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize
