Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
