Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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