sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
MIDGETS
????
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Randomize
