Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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