he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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