A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
