haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
