he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
